Past overwhelming thankfulness to the Present!!!!

                                                                                                                               

   The beginning of the ‘90s, rosy skies were

not part of my life.  They seemed very

dark and hopeless.  Every month seemed to be

more of a disappointment for me.  I began to

question God on why there was no blessing.  I had

faithfully served Him and He was not answering my

greatest request. Hannah in the Bible seemed to be

my only hope of encouragement.  Then a positive

test finally came and excitement filled our home.

We began to tell our good news.  We were going

to have a baby!   Just as soon as the news sunk in,

loss came and emptiness filled me again.  How could this happen?  Why was God being so mean to me?

I had pleased Him all my life with everything in me!  I never doubted Him until this ugly week of pain and suffering.  I began to question His compassion and all I knew of Him.  My heart was broken.  It became really  

hard to continue in the Ministry for Him.   I was not a good representation for Him and therefore I felt hypocritical.

            We began the road of infertility and what that meant.  I was a very private person about all of this and it was hard to answer people’s insistent questions.   The conversations always ended in “well you are still very young”.   It didn’t matter, my heart was broken and very confused about God.   That is not a good spot to be in when you are trying to lead young people to God.   Good news came again of a positive test, then to be dashed and my heart broken even more.   The road and process God was allowing me to go through is now what

I am thankful for!!!

            News from the doctors was “we can try some fertility drugs but don’t get your hopes up”.  Those pills were very pricey and made me have crazy mood swings but who wouldn’t try when you are desperately longing for a child.    After many months the drug worked and we found ourselves expecting Abigail Lea.

            I write all this to give THANKSGIVING to our Lord.  My heart is humbled as I look back at the way I was.

Of course I have been blessed, was it because of all my good deeds?   No!      Was it because I had a really good faith in God?  No!    God in His grace and mercy blessed me.   I have a responsibility now to be very

Thankful for my family and not forget what God has done in the past.   I just wanted to give my Lord praise again for what He has done for me, 3 times 🙂 

 

 

 

 

Job’s “friend”

   I am still reading in Job.  It is a very long book.  I am not complaining  just observing 🙂  Today I read more of Job’s “friend” Elihu, he really loved to share his opinion.  He shared some truths about God!  “How great is God-beyond our understanding”!  He could have stopped there and said” that is why we don’t understand why you are suffering so much Job period”.   This friend had a lot of head knowledge about God but didn’t have the experience of Grace.   He was convinced Job had not worked out his works to please God enough!  My heart is very thankful today for Grace, without Jesus coming we would be in the same boat. Without grace in my life I could see myself  trying to tell someone you haven’t pleased  God enough and so that is why you are suffering. I am looking forward to the end of this book because  I know how God showed His faithfulness and grace to Job.  May I always be a friend that encourages with hope for the best ending  because we have GRACE!!!!  No matter what suffering we are going through, we haven’t made God so mad.  He gave us GRACE to bring us close to Him, don’t make your suffering worse by not receiving God’s riches at Christ’s expense.

Composing Thanksgiving

This thought of Composing Thanksgiving popped into my mind the other early morning and hasn’t left, so I assume it is time to put on paper!  

When I was younger, I was very involved with music and so admired the way musicians composed music.  I tried and tried but never was able to put together a beautiful song or a piano piece with melodic melody.  I love singing and at times still sit down to worship the Lord alone on the piano.  My flute skills have gotten away from me and I haven’t touched a handbell for years.  when I was  a little girl  I remember sitting for long periods of time looking out the hallway window singing made up songs to Jesus. I am sure these songs didn’t have great tone quality and were never to be heard by anyone but Jesus!  I will, “sing and make melody in my heart to the Lord”(Ehp.5:19)

Thoughts on  composing thanksgiving has not left me, so I will try to give you an understanding of what we are challenged daily to do!  King David had an idea for this and through his writing we sing what he prayed and thought.  Psalm 95:2″Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song”.   God placed many examples for us  in His Word to read and hear from their hearts of thankfulness.  I looked up “how to compose music”.  Here are some simple steps.  1. Take lessons on an instrument,  2. Learn to listen to the music, 3. Learn the musical scale, 4. Listen to other composer’s music.

    A heart of thankfulness can’t be composed over night.  God puts us thru lessons so we learn that we can make thankfulness happen.  When we are going thru the hard times we can’t hear the composition being made because we are working on the situation.  It is when we step back and learn to listen to God’s Word and what He wants to show us through the dark, unfair and ugly things.  We learn things like ” I will never leave you nor forsake you” Heb.13:5 or ” I have plans to prosper you and not harm you”Jer.29:11.  Then we step into learning to not “lean not on our own understanding but in all our ways acknowledge Him” Prov. 3:5,6  After we begin to learn His promises and instruction, we can hear what others are saying as they too have composed a heart of thankfulness in the midst of hardship.  You know them, you are encouraged by them and they challenge you to not give up.  You see, our hearts need to be changed to really have a thankful heart, we can’t stay the same negative way and expect to compose thanksgiving!  It is something of process and work.  Make this November a beautiful month of Thanksgiving.  Take the steps of composing, accept the lessons(they are free ).  Learn to listen to what God is saying.   Learn faith doesn’t come in our own “understanding” and making everything work out.  Listen to  what those who have great faith are saying and be encouraged!!  Watch other benefit from your Composition of Thankfulness!!!!

Communication with God

I am so thankful for prayer,  please read my husbands’ blog today http://nateelarton.wordpress.com/ .   This morning my heart was set on talking to God, but every morning isn’t like that.  It is a continual practice and awareness we need.   We need this time so bad!  God has all the time in the world for us and listens better than anyone else!!!   I have been reading a small book called “God is listening” by Thomas Trask.  Let me end this blog with quoting him “Prayer is a privilege. Honor that privilege with the full realization that God is listening.”

Thank-you Jesus!!

One of my most favorite holidays is Thanksgiving. Yes, It is almost here. I want to give thanks all the time, but it seems by November it is a time we are in need of a refreshing of thankfulness.  Does your heart ever feel like mine so full it is overwhelming with thankfulness? Then– we have times where it seems there is nothing  to be thankful for!! Of course that is not true, It is the crazy feelings and the hard times that come our way. Paul reminds us to “Give Thanks” Thess. 5:18. It is good for us and this time of year everyone around us does the same. Wow! a spiritual attribute inspired by a Holiday!!  I will start Nov.1 by saying “Thank-you Jesus for your Great Love and forgiveness”  May your day be full of overwhelming thankfulness!!